Thursday, January 5, 2017

Ms. Bakalar mixes business and pleasure

A.  The Alaska Dispatch News interviewed Ms. Bakalar in her capacity as a State of Alaska "election attorney" about the recent Alaska electoral college lawsuit. 

https://www.adn.com/politics/2016/12/15/alaskas-republican-presidential-electors-set-to-vote-trump-despite-tidal-wave-of-lobbying/

Recently, a Clinton supporter filed a lawsuit against the three GOP electors in Alaska federal court. The plaintiff, Janice Park, said in her complaint that Alaska's three electors were poised to violate the Bill of Rights and the democratic principle of "one person, one vote" by voting for Trump when Clinton won the popular vote.

The Alaska Dispatch News (formerly known as the Anchorage Daily News, Alaska's largest newspaper) wrote a story about this lawsuit and the Electoral College process in general.

And lo and behold, who did they ask for an opinion on the lawsuit?

None other than attorney Libby Bakalar.  Ms. Bakalar was labeled "an election attorney" with the Alaska Department of Law by the ADN.

Guess what Ms. Bakalar's opinion was?  Keep in mind that Ms. Bakalar has written dozens of blog posts excoriating Donald Trump.  She was overwhelmed with grief when he won the Presidential election.  Thus, it is fair to say that Ms. Bakalar detests Donald Trump.

From the article:

"State law requires the parties to extract a loyalty pledge from each elector, and it also says the electors "shall" vote for their party's candidate.  But an election attorney at the Department of Law, Libby Bakalar, said she was unaware of any penalties in state law for an elector who breaks his or her pledge."

Ms. Bakalar pointed out that there are no penalties if an elector breaks ranks and votes for someone else.  (Hmm...this seems to signal to Trump electors that they are free to vote for someone else.)

Should Ms. Bakalar really be working as an election attorney for the State of Alaska considering her strong political views?

Does anyone  really think that she is impartial?

Why is the State of Alaska allowing this vocal political blogger to continue working as an Assistant Attorney General in the Labor and State Affairs section???

Or conversely, why is the State of Alaska allowing Ms. Bakalar to work on her blog while she is getting paid to work as an Assistant Attorney General?

B.  MS. BAKALAR SEEMS TO BE WRITING AND PUBLISHING BLOG POSTS WHILE ON THE JOB:

Ms. Bakalar is a prolific blogger.  While she sometimes posts items on weekends and in the evening, she also posts items during regular working hours on weekday - sometimes more than one post per day.  (I have left out posts when Ms. Bakalar was clearly on vacation and obviously I do not know if she was on annual leave on any other days listed below.) Here are approximately 300 examples from 2016 of blog posts posted during "regular working hours.":  

Update/Note:  This is just a list of blog posts Ms. Bakalar made during regular working hours.  It does not include any data from all of Ms. Bakalar's other social media outlets - such as Facebook and Twitter - where she is also very active and where she posts often during typical workdays.  Note: Ms. Bakalar denies she spends time at work on her blog. 




Thursday, December 22, 2016


Trump! You CRAY!

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Tuesday, December 20, 2016


I See You, 54-Second Recipe GIF of Unicorn Cookies that Poop Stars Made to Look Like They Don't Really Take All Day Because Fast Forward!

Monday, December 19, 2016


All I Want for Christmas is for My Kids to Flush the Fucking Toilet. Is That Too Much to Ask?

Monday, December 19, 2016


Five Pieces of Unsolicited Advice You Need Less Than a Small, Nonfatal Hole in Your Head

Friday, December 16, 2016

Thursday, December 15, 2016


Let's Talk About the Modeling Shoot That Was Happening at the Place Where I Went to Go Stuff My Face with Tacos


(So clearly, this was not written and posted during her lunch hour.  Ms. Bakalar went to lunch and THEN wrote up this blog post and posted it.)


Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Tuesday, December 13, 2016


Object Lessons in Bullying

Monday, December 12, 2016


Standing Around Looking Like an Asshole is Like, Totally My Jam!

Friday, December 9, 2016


Not Nice

Thursday, December 8, 2016


Roster of WWE Wrestlers Under Consideration for Trump Cabinet Posts

Wednesday, December 7, 2016


Thanks for Believing in Me! I Now Challenge You to Disprove 4 Highly Unproveable Opinions About a Bunch of Crazy-Ass Shit*

Tuesday, December 6, 2016


I Don't Understand Why This is a Bad Thing


Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Monday, December 5, 2016


Things that Rhyme With the "Alt-Right" and are Conceptually Kind of Exactly Like It   Posted at 3:09 p.m. 




Monday, December 5, 2016


The Null Hypothesis Posted by 

Friday, December 2, 2016


Local Mother Inadvertently Agrees to Buy Kids a Pony and Send Them to Space Camp

Friday, December 2, 2016


Unless ...

Thursday, December 1, 2016


10 Gift Ideas for the Girl Who Has Everything and Yet Still Needs to Make up a Story About Almost Dying in Africa, for Some Reason

Thursday, December 1, 2016


Shout Out to My Hero--My Mom--on World AIDS Day (With Video)

Wednesday, November 30, 2016


Learn to Let Go of Fear by Doing Really Dumb Shit in Alaska

Wednesday, November 30, 2016


Meet Kellyanne: The Newest American Girl (TM) Doll to Celebrate Trump's Historic Win in 2016 America!

Tuesday, November 29, 2016


Things Could Be Worse: You Could be a Beaver in Formaldehyde

Tuesday, November 29, 2016


Ms. Bakalar ought to take her own advice here.  It is so very ironic that she is posting about wasting time on the internet while at work while she is at work:

Get Off the Internet and Get to Work, Says Millennial on the Internet

A self-identified "millennial computer scientist who also writes books and runs a blog" has some career advice for everyone who reads the NY Times online: stop using the internet. 

More specifically, Cal Newport sanctimoniously and accurately has this to say about social media:
Most social media is best described as a collection of somewhat trivial entertainment services that are currently having a good run. These networks are fun, but you’re deluding yourself if you think that Twitter messages, posts and likes are a productive use of your time. If you’re serious about making an impact in the world, power down your smartphone, close your browser tabs, roll up your sleeves and get to work.
 But unlike the rest of us addicts and suckers, Cal is super serial about "making an impact in the world" you guys. 

How? 

By spending all his time on a computer with only one browser window open. Which is different than spending that same amount of time on a smart phone with multiple browser windows open. Cal is "rolling up his sleeves" as though he were a potato farmer in the field, if the farm were the Georgetown University Computer Science Department where he teaches, and the field was his keyboard.

God, I am so glad I read this, because I'm "rolling up my sleeves" right now. Just as soon as I re-tweet one more kitten-can-haz-cheeseburger meme.

Thanks, Cal!

Monday, November 28, 2016


If Trump Were Santa

Wednesday, November 23, 2016


Individuals with Diarrhea Shall Not Use the Sprayground

Monday, November 21, 2016


Neo Nazi White Supremacists are Taking Washington by Storm, but It's Cool Because They Look Like Tom Cruise in Risky Business

Friday, November 18, 2016


Alphabet Soup Now World's Only Source of Reliable Information



Thursday, November 17, 2016


More Global Therapy from My Mother



Wednesday, November 16, 2016


That Juneau Feeling When . . . 10 Awkward Moments Only Juneauites Will Understand

Posted by 


My Open Letter Re: Hate and White Supremacy to the Mayors of Anchorage, Fairbanks, and Juneau


Wednesday, July 20, 2016


I Beg to Differ with This Anti-Drug PSA from the Indian Government

Wednesday, July 20, 2016



New Poll: 99% of Americans Want to Be Placed in Drug-Induced Coma Until After November 8, 2016

Wednesday, July 20, 2016



Young Misadventures in Plagiarism

Tuesday, July 19, 2016



Juneau Police Department for the Win (Again)

Tuesday, July 19, 2016


Melania Trump's FLOTUS Inauguration Speech

Monday, July 18, 2016



Easy for You to Say

Monday, July 18, 2016


Monday, July 18, 2016



Sunny Days in Juneau Cast Light on Thick Layer of Grime All Over Everyone's Stuff

Friday, July 15, 2016



We Resent Being Compared to the Alaska Legislature, by Gerbils Everywhere

Friday, July 15, 2016



Is This Fair?

Thursday, July 14, 2016


Thursday, July 14, 2016



"Pokemon Go" Offers Unique Opportunity for People to Walk Around Staring Down at Their Phones Some More

Thursday, July 14, 2016



If "All Lives Matter" in America . . .

Wednesday, July 13, 2016



Levi Johnston Shatters Guinness World Record for Biggest Balls by Begging for Benjamins on GoFundMe

Tuesday, July 12, 2016


Tuesday, July 12, 2016



5 Things I Love About My Child-Free Friends

Friday, July 8, 2016



This All Natural Deodorant is Awesome IF . . .

Wednesday, July 6, 2016


Wednesday, July 6, 2016


Tuesday, July 5, 2016


Tuesday, July 5, 2016



Upping Scotland's Ante on Creative, Descriptive, and 100% Accurate Nicknames for Donald Trump

Tuesday, July 5, 2016



Love is Showing Up

Monday, July 4, 2016


Friday, July 1, 2016


Friday, July 1, 2016



Tolerating Intolerance

Thursday, June 30, 2016


Thursday, June 30, 2016



Achtung Bitches! If This Man is Not Your Plan B You're Doing it Wrong!

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Tuesday, May 31, 2016


Whole Entire Internet Now Officially Expert on Everything

Tuesday, May 31, 2016


Blood from a Stone

Friday, May 27, 2016

Friday, May 27, 2016



Death Prep


Thursday, May 26, 2016



Pro Tip: If You Want to "Triple My Business," Find a New Spokesmodel


Thursday, May 26, 2016


Wednesday, May 25, 2016


Wednesday, May 25, 2016



"Alaskans for Action Through Loud Inconvenience" Now Dropping Bricks Off a Six Story Building to Prompt Elected Officials Into Action

Wednesday, May 25, 2016



My Parents Won

Tuesday, May 24, 2016



Okay, NOW The Huffington Post is Officially THE WORST. Please Boycott Them.

Monday, May 23, 2016


Monday, May 23, 2016



I'm Eating Tuna Salad for Lunch and IDGAF

Monday, May 23, 2016



Polar Seeks Grizzly: A Singles Ad from a Polar Bear

Friday, May 20, 2016


Friday, May 20, 2016



This is What Giving Up Looks Like

Friday, May 20, 2016


Thursday, May 19, 2016


Thursday, May 19, 2016



The One Phase of a Relationship No One Ever Talks About

Wednesday, May 18, 2016


Wednesday, May 18, 2016



Sonnet 18: Shall I Compare Thee to a Diet Coke?

Wednesday, May 18, 2016



Stop it Dad, You're Embarrassing Me: By Ivanka Trump

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Wednesday, May 11, 2016


Wednesday, May 11, 2016



Faint Pulse Detected in Body of Alaska Legislature

Wednesday, May 11, 2016



This Text Exchange About Forensic Files is Next Level Sad

Tuesday, May 10, 2016


Tuesday, May 10, 2016


Tuesday, May 10, 2016



Entire City of Juneau Has Metaphorical Orgasm Over Weather Report

Monday, May 9, 2016


Monday, May 9, 2016



Unprecedented Walrus Haul Out Appears to Be a 3,000+ #NeverTrump Walrus Protest


Monday, May 9, 2016



You Sort of Have to Appreciate the Ballsy Irony of "Dawn Helps Save Wildlife"

Friday, May 6, 2016


Friday, May 6, 2016



Do My Kids Really "Need to See Just One Little Thing?"

Thursday, May 5, 2016


Thursday, May 5, 2016



Truly Scary Things in a Women's Restroom

Wednesday, May 4, 2016


Wednesday, May 4, 2016


Tuesday, May 3, 2016


Tuesday, May 3, 2016



An Open Letter to My Children: Please Get in the Fucking Car

Monday, May 2, 2016


Monday, May 2, 2016



O.H.M. Movie Review: The Revenant

Friday, April 29, 2016


Friday, April 29, 2016



Uninterrupted Basic Activities of Daily Living that I Never Thought I'd Miss After Having Kids

Thursday, April 28, 2016


Thursday, April 28, 2016



An Open Letter to My Children: Can't You Just Brush Your Fucking Teeth Already?


Thursday, April 28, 2016



Oklahoma: A Great Place to Go if You Want to Suck a Dick While You're Unconscious

Wednesday, April 27, 2016


Wednesday, April 27, 2016



Alaska State Capitol Needs a New Street Address AND a New Theme Song

Tuesday, April 26, 2016


8 Other Beckys Who (Based Exclusively on Their Hair) Have Been Ruled Out as "Becky With the Good Hair" from Beyoncé's Lemonade

Tuesday, April 26, 2016


Operation Woo: Hillary Clinton's Secret Plan to Woo Bernie Sanders' Voters


Tuesday, April 26, 2016



Unexpected Pitfalls of Taking My Kids to the Library

Monday, April 25, 2016


Monday, April 25, 2016


Friday, April 22, 2016


Friday, April 22, 2016



"Alaskans for Action Through Loud Inconvenience" Shut Down Every Street in the Capital to Prompt Elected Officials Into Action

Friday, April 22, 2016


Thursday, April 21, 2016


Thursday, April 21, 2016



Aaaaaaand Now Facebook Thinks I Have Man Boobs and Should Sue Somebody Over Them

Wednesday, April 20, 2016


Tuesday, April 19, 2016


Monday, April 18, 2016


Monday, April 18, 2016



This Law School Professor is Afraid Law Schools are "Indoctrinating" Students with Lessons on "Justice"


Friday, April 15, 2016


'80's and '90's Pop Culture Pop Quiz

Thursday, April 14, 2016


Wednesday, April 13, 2016


Wednesday, April 13, 2016



I'm Not Named Kylie and/or Hand-Rearing a Baby Koala Bear for a Living, Which is Incontrovertible Proof that I'm Failing at Life

Tuesday, April 12, 2016


Monday, April 11, 2016


Monday, April 11, 2016



There's Silly Putty on My Pillow, and 20 Other Things I Need to Hear Slightly More than Bluegrass Fiddle Music Right Now

Friday, April 8, 2016



You'll Never Guess What I Learned on My First Whale Watching Trip

Thursday, April 7, 2016


Thursday, April 7, 2016



Jumping on the Cardboard Steering Wheel Grenade

Thursday, April 7, 2016



Are You In This?: Life Lessons Learned from an 8 Year-Old

Wednesday, April 6, 2016


Wednesday, April 6, 2016



9 Insignificant Celebrity and Quasi-Celebrity Encounters I Have Had in New York City, and the Snap Judgments They Provoked: a Historic Gallery

Wednesday, April 6, 2016



The Gettysburg Address, Palinized

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Tuesday, April 5, 2016



First You Hear Her Talk . . . And Then You Die.

Monday, April 4, 2016


Friday, April 1, 2016


Friday, April 1, 2016



Crazy

Thursday, March 31, 2016


Wednesday, March 30, 2016


Tuesday, March 29, 2016


Monday, March 28, 2016


Monday, March 28, 2016



If Taylor Swift Gave a Presentation on Alaska's Budget Woes to the Legislature

Friday, March 25, 2016



Alaska So Broke

Friday, March 25, 2016


Thursday, March 24, 2016


Thursday, March 24, 2016



I Did Not Come to Play With You Hos. I Came to Slay! (And by Slay, I Mean Watch Blue Crush on Cable)

Wednesday, March 23, 2016


Tuesday, March 22, 2016


Monday, March 21, 2016


Monday, March 21, 2016


Friday, March 18, 2016



The Real Comments on this Article on Climate Change in the ADN are Better Than Anything I Could Ever Make Up

Thursday, March 17, 2016



This Sheriff in Idaho is at Least 51% Full of Shit

Wednesday, March 16, 2016


Wednesday, March 16, 2016



10 Things You Didn't Know About Those Juneau Capitol Building Benches

Wednesday, March 16, 2016



How to Make Daily Transitions Easier on Your Family

Wednesday, March 16, 2016



I'm Putting Out Fires

Tuesday, March 15, 2016


Tuesday, March 15, 2016


Monday, March 14, 2016


Monday, March 14, 2016



"San Andreas" Starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson Might be the Best Worst Movie You Will Ever See

Monday, March 14, 2016



Realistic Meditative Thoughts

Friday, March 11, 2016


Friday, March 11, 2016



On Indecency: I Highly Encourage You to Watch 30 Seconds of What NBC and ABC Consider to be "Indecent" Women

Thursday, March 10, 2016


Thursday, March 10, 2016



Public Defenders Matter to American Democracy. A Lot.

Wednesday, March 9, 2016


Wednesday, March 9, 2016



Sony is Totes Cool with Rape, But Bad PR? Not So Much!

Wednesday, March 9, 2016


Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Tuesday, March 8, 2016


Economic Forecast: Alaska to Resemble Set of "28 Days Later" by 2020

Monday, March 7, 2016


A Bad Way to Start a Monday

Friday, March 4, 2016


Friday, March 4, 2016



An Alaskan Second Grader Schools You on Snowstorms

Thursday, March 3, 2016



Women's Work

Thursday, March 3, 2016



I Woke Up Like This

Wednesday, March 2, 2016


Tuesday, March 1, 2016


Tuesday, March 1, 2016



You Can Buy Plastic Pink Bubbles for a Doll's Bath, and Really That Tells You Everything You Need to Know About Humanity

Monday, February 29, 2016



5 Signs My 5 Year-Old Son is a Walking Testosterone Bomb

Thursday, February 25, 2016


Tuesday, February 23, 2016


Monday, February 22, 2016


Monday, February 22, 2016



These Roller Sneakers are Hands Down the Worst Purchase I Ever Made

Thursday, February 18, 2016


Thursday, February 18, 2016



How My Mom Convinced Me Never to Drop Acid or Ride a Motorcycle

Wednesday, February 17, 2016


Wednesday, February 17, 2016


Tuesday, February 16, 2016


Tuesday, February 16, 2016



If I Had Kanye West’s Twitter Game in 12 Tweets (Feat. O.H.M.'s 1000th Blog Post)

Monday, February 15, 2016


Monday, February 15, 2016



Corey Feldman's Memoir is EVERYTHING

Friday, February 12, 2016


Friday, February 12, 2016


Let This Athletic Middle-Aged White Dad at a Child's Birthday Party School You in Pickup Basketball

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Thursday, February 11, 2016


The Person Making Decisions in the City of Cleveland Simply Must be Satan's Fuckboy

Wednesday, February 10, 2016


Wednesday, February 10, 2016



10 Red Lobster/Beyonce Tweets That Should Have Been

Tuesday, February 9, 2016


Tuesday, February 9, 2016



Donald Trump Just Called Ted Cruz a "Pussy" and I Wrote a Poem About It

Monday, February 8, 2016


Monday, February 8, 2016



A Blue Ribbon Shit Show

Friday, February 5, 2016


Thursday, February 4, 2016


Thursday, February 4, 2016



The Adult Convo Fail

Thursday, February 4, 2016



Bad News for Alaska, Good News for Dildo Makers

Wednesday, February 3, 2016


Tuesday, February 2, 2016



"Kid Rock Endorsing Donald Trump for President" Sounds Like a White Card Option in Cards Against Humanity

Monday, February 1, 2016


Monday, February 1, 2016


Friday, January 29, 2016


Friday, January 29, 2016



The Kanye West/Amber Rose #FingersInTheBootyAssBitch Ass-Play Tweet Beef Set to the Text of Green Eggs & Ham, by Dr. Seuss

Thursday, January 28, 2016


Thursday, January 28, 2016



Slow Clap, Mattel! It Only Took Half a Century, But Barbie Finally Has Junk in Her Trunk

Thursday, January 28, 2016


Wednesday, January 27, 2016



If I Were Kanye West and the Juneau Community Concern Facebook Page Were Wiz Khalifa

Wednesday, January 27, 2016



6 Questions in Pop Music That Make Most Men Cringe IRL

Tuesday, January 26, 2016


Tuesday, January 26, 2016



Is This All You Got?! C'mon, Juneau! BRING THE PAIN!

Tuesday, January 26, 2016



I Will Not Feel Loved Until My Husband Tattoos His Forearm With a Highly Detailed Portrait of Me

Monday, January 25, 2016



What Do My/Our Google Searches Say About Me/Us?

Monday, January 25, 2016



This Ecuadorian Sloth is Totally My New Spirit Animal

Monday, January 25, 2016



A Presidential Endorsement Beautifully Recast as a Poem in The New Yorker

Friday, January 22, 2016


Wednesday, January 20, 2016


Wednesday, January 20, 2016



Dr. Badtouch

Tuesday, January 19, 2016


Tuesday, January 19, 2016



Scientists Have Discovered that Donald Trump Communicates Using a Complex Series of Clicks and Whistles

Monday, January 18, 2016


Friday, January 15, 2016


Friday, January 15, 2016



"#CookieCott" Will Make You Barf Up a Whole Sleeve of Thin Mints


Thursday, January 14, 2016


Thursday, January 14, 2016


Wednesday, January 13, 2016


Tuesday, January 12, 2016


Monday, January 11, 2016



On David Bowie: In Praise of All Freaks Who Don't Give a Fuck

Monday, January 11, 2016



The ABC's of David Bowie, For Future Young Generations of Bowie Fans

Friday, January 8, 2016


Friday, January 8, 2016



The Hard Return

Thursday, January 7, 2016



The ABC's of the Oregon Standoff: How to Explain This Crap to Your Kids

Wednesday, January 6, 2016


Wednesday, January 6, 2016



The Oregon Militia is Like a Pack of Kids Who Threw a Tantrum and Ran Away from Home, But Scarier

Wednesday, January 6, 2016


Tuesday, January 5, 2016


Monday, January 4, 2016


Monday, January 4, 2016



These Two Dipshit Mega-Preachers Defending Their Private Jets are Going to the Proverbial Burn Unit Courtesy of O.H.M.

Update: I have posted all blog posts from 2016 which were posted during typical working hours.  By my count, there are over 300 posts which were made on a weekday from approximately 8 a.m. to 6 p.m.  I omitted all obvious vacation posts.  Readers can review all of the current blog posts (Jan 2017 - present) plus all 2014 - 2015 posts and find many more weekday blog posts. 


NOTE:  In a blog post about taking typing lessons, Ms. Bakalar wrote that it only takes her 10 - 15 minutes to write each blog post.   See excerpt below.  While this may be true (and I am a fast typer and writer too) - I think Ms. Bakalar is underestimating how much time she is spending on her blog while on the job.  She often finds and posts photos with her blogs.  Sometimes she draws a diagram.  And frankly, most of us vastly underestimate the amount of time we waste while at work. The sidebar to her blog shows that she posted 667 entries in 2016; 731 entries in 2015; and 187 entries in 2014.  

"Several people have asked me how I crank out these blog posts "so fast" and how I can get anything else done. Truth be told, they don't take long. Maybe about 10-15 minutes each. They're a great mental palate cleanser either on a lunch break; when I'm trying to clear my head between tasks; or while I'm engaged in the interminable bedtime routine of lying down with my kids while they fall asleep each night.

The main reason they take ten minutes each goes back to the biggest fight I ever had with my dad. The summer before I left for college, he insisted that I learn to touch-type. He claimed I wasn't allowed to leave home without perfecting this skill..."


Entry dated 11/7/2014 (a Friday) at 10:49 a.m.




Here is a post where Ms. Bakalar writes as person who is an internet addict/troll (sort of in a joking manner; but is she really joking? Is she really talking about herself? ) who spends all of their time on the internet:

Friday, February 19, 2016


I Will Not Rest Until the Whole Entire Internet Agrees With Me!, by Bro Who Needs the Whole Entire Internet to Agree With Him

Ever since I could read and write at the age of three--up to and including my recent graduation from Stanford B-school--I have worked tirelessly toward a single, laudable goal: 

To make the Whole Entire Internet agree with me.

From trivial debates like whether it’s okay to pee in the shower, does cilantro really taste bad or is it all in your head, or should you even bother with flat sheets; all the way on up to the important issues of our day like whitesplaining #BlackLivesMatter and immigration reform to mansplaining Hillary Clinton, climate change, and why Antonin Scalia was actually a cool bro, I will not rest until the Whole Entire Internet agrees with me.

I will spend all day every day if I have to—and I do—scrolling through Twitter and Facebook and perusing the comments sections of CNN, Vice News, Talking Points Memo, Gawker, Slate, Salon, Huffington Post, NYT, Deadspin, and any other online publication with a comments section, so that I may use said comments section as a turnkey bully pulpit for my half-baked arguments, thus furthering my noble goal of making the Whole Entire Internet agree with me about something.

And not just something. Everything.

Moms: is it safe to vaccinate your child? (I have a firm opinion on this topic, despite not being a mom myself). Why are there so many homeless people in San Francisco? (I do not enjoy seeing homeless people on my way to work at my tech startup, and feel the city should address the eyesore). It that chocolate bar you're eating really bean-to-bar, or is it a fraud? (Ferreting out fraud in both the artisanal chocolate bar-making and craft beer communities is one of my core concerns).

I will banter back and forth until the Whole Entire Internet grows tired of me, capitulates and concedes my point, or otherwise gives firm indication of my rectitude. I will outlast any troll and bombard with specious "facts" anyone who fails to concur with whatever point I am trying to make, be it big or small.

Because when it comes to sheets, cilantro, climate change, moms, vaccines, black people, homelessness, and artisanal chocolate bars, there can be only one right answer, and only I have it. Yes, it's a 
difficult, thankless job, but someone has to do it. Bear witness! For today I say to you truly: 

I will not rest until the Whole Entire Internet agrees with me.



No comments:

Post a Comment